I LED some training recently, with an energetic bunch of PR people at their beautiful offices. I set a challenge to write a press release about a new company bringing new jobs to a city. The press release was to go to regional media.
It was an interesting exercise to see what they came back with. Overall, the standard of writing was high - but some subtle and not so subtle changes were needed to make their press releases more effective.
The biggest trap they fell into was writing what on first sight, appeared to me, to be more suitable for an advertorial or commercial feature copy.
For example, one intro reported that the firm was 'celebrating' because of new jobs being created.
This was irrelevant and gratuitous PR puffery - it was fluffing up the story too much. In your intro you should say directly what has happened, remembering at all times that if someone has to read your intro twice to understand it, you have failed.
The same draft press release went on to say the jobs were a boost to the area. I pointed out that there was no attribution whatsoever. Who had said this and why? I suggested that to gain an insight of how true this was, the writer should contact the local Chamber of Commerce or Federation of Small Businesses.
My favourite touch was reading that the company 'delivered basement conversion solutions' in the release, rather than saying it converted basements. I advised the writer this would make reporters laugh, but I think I wasn't being harsh enough there really - it could possibly mean that it could end up in the bin.
Avoid these David Brentisms at all costs. Who likes such corporate gobbledegook? Your clients may, but journalists don't.
There were plenty of other little niggles, but it's the lack of attribution/research in the stuff about business 'booming' that really underlines the difference between a press release and a commercial feature or advertorial.
If you are writing a press release, you must make sure that what you are saying is not only 100 per cent accurate but also backed up by someone actually saying it. To do otherwise renders your copy useless.
Related posts: Click here for examples of press releases.
You're right.
There's far too much puffery in press releases.
The good news, however, is that press releases don't have to be void of anything promotional, now that we aren't writing releases only for journalists.
Savvy self-promoters write them for consumers and post them online where the search engines can find the m.
I get more questions about press releases than any other topic. And I've created a free email tutorial that anyone can take advantage of. It's at http://www.PublicityHound.com/pressreleasetips/art.htm
Posted by: Joan Stewart, The Publicity Hound | July 09, 2008 at 10:36 PM
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Mia
Posted by: Mia | July 24, 2008 at 09:30 PM